It has been one full year since my mother died. One full year of holidays, birthdays, special events, a graduation…and no mom. I’ve picked up the phone dozens of times to tell her things and dozens of times to ask her things. Mostly I’ve just been sad. I took all the pills, talked to a therapist for weeks and weeks, and still the sadness kept being there. Which I knew. You knew. Everyone knew.
So I’d like to just put a giant Thank You to everyone that has walked through this year with us, holding us in their hearts. Thank you for loving us and putting up with us and listening to us babble incoherently at times. We couldn’t have made it through the year without you.
I spent the last week of November feverishly writing. I got up at 5am every day and wrote straight through until 7am, when I took a short break to go out and kiss my kids and help them find breakfast. Then I went back most mornings and wrote for another hour or two until it was time to visit my dad and sister, who were here for the week of Thanksgiving. Some evenings, I would come back and write even more. I had so much to catch up on. The last three days I wrote nearly 20,000 words, which is a huge stretch for me. I know I’m probably going to throw out the whole first chapter in edits, but right now I’m going to sit here and glow about having finished the first 50,000 words of this novel.