Sadness

I have just had such a weird summer. I have been so sad about so many things, but like my kids growing up should be a good thing and if my brain was normal it would be fine, but it’s not and so I get sad instead of just a little bittersweet about these sorts of things. Greg is getting taller like every day now. Ree is so tall I can’t see the top of his hair anymore. Then there is the usual back to school sadness of kids being in new classes and new experiences. I don’t know why it makes me sad when they have new teachers, but I miss the old ones so much sometimes. Plus I’ve been bonus sad because I was gone for nearly all of my kids free time this summer visiting places I had very little interest being (China) and then when I got home they were all off at camp or trips with their grandparents. I feel like we had no good summer time all together. Plus for bonus sadness, I have a kid starting college soon, but not moving out so I have that not-here-nor-there feeling while watching everyone else’s kids move into dorms and starting life away from home. Plus the sadness of my mom not being here to see it all. So yeah, I’ve been crying a lot today.