Reminiscing about the MOPS Costume Closet Lecture by Cathy


One year at MOPs (mothers of preschoolers), a mentor talked about her costume chest. Every year, the day after Halloween, she’d go buy the costumes that were 80% off and save them for the next year, so over the years she always had stuff that was new or different for costumes. Her kids by that point were in their 30s and still came home at every costume-needing event to dig through the box.

So I have striven to be that mom. When the kids were in elementary school, we brought the whole costume box up to school for storybook parades, Halloween, and Living History Museums. Some of them were cheap store-bought things, but many of them were things I had sewn or crocheted. Literally hundreds of kids have dressed up out of our costume box. I would always take photos of as many of the kiddos as I could.

When the last of my kids outgrew the smallest outfits, I started donating them to the school, so over the years our at-home costume box has dwindled and theirs has gotten bigger. Our kids don’t dress up as much now that they’re in high school and college, but every year at Halloween I’ll see at least one kid wearing something out of our old box and it really makes me smile.

This week wins the CHAOS award!

This week has been super chaotic in a million bizarre ways. On Tuesday first thing, I got a text from my massage place, reminding me I’d signed up for yoga for that morning which I thought was scheduled for another day because I was supposed to have physical therapy at 10am. It was 15 minutes til class and I live 25 minutes away, so I called the place and told them that I just couldn’t make it. The owner told me I wasn’t on the schedule because the system wouldn’t let someone without a yoga subscription sign up. (True, I don’t have a yoga subscription, but I’d bought a package earlier in the year that gave me one yoga session.) She said not to worry about it and we’d get me on the schedule next time I came in.*

Just after that the husband left for church, then our eldest showed up in casual clothes, looking for his trumpet and his Bb hymnal notebook. We had the trumpet, but the hymnal hasn’t been here for two years. As he left, the husband came back in, having forgotten his suit jacket, and did a double take because the eldest was not ready for church. *sigh* They both left and I got online to meet with my daily accountability partner.

A little bit later, our midkid’s dentist appointment got rescheduled** because the dentist had a medical emergency. This will be important later. At this point I checked the schedule and my physical therapy had been put on Wednesday and Friday this week. *sigh*

Right after that I got a call to finally schedule the 504 meetings for the kids, so I went looking up info on stuff in the patient portal to get documentation for that, and found out that one of the kids had an appointment for that particular issue that very afternoon. It wasn’t in my calendar right.*** This will also become important later. So I called the school, which has that 24 hour notice thing going on, and let them know we were picking him up later than originally planned.****also important later. While looking around the portal, I saw a very tiny new notice that said that this version of the patient portal was closing this week and that we should download all our files if we wanted them because they would not be available on the new system. (I already have an account on the new system, with the other hospital, so then I wondered if I’d need a second account or if they were going to merge them or what?) I spent a very long time downloading the three sets of data files I had access to. It won’t let me get David’s and David never set up a password to his after he turned 18, so those are all gone. Nick’s, too.

Then I got a call from physical therapy saying that I was still on schedule for Wednesday, but they needed to move my Friday appointment because I had another appointment scheduled at the same time and the new system wouldn’t let them double book a patient. ***** I told them that I was calling that doctor’s office today because I needed to have finished my PT re-evaluation before I saw that doctor, but it had taken two weeks to get into PT, not one, so that appointment had to move, not PT. It was on my list to call them, only all these other people kept calling me first. I called scheduling and got put on hold for 18 minutes, then transferred to someone that was not scheduling, but she put a note through the system to that doctor’s nurse to call me back because she was the nicest human I spoke to all week.

Then I spoke to other people about various other problems going on in volunteer organizations I am a part of. I learned so many special things. I just…can’t talk about any of it. At some point during those calls, I got a text from the system at my massage/yoga place telling me that I had failed to cancel within the proper time period and they were going to charge my account for the yoga session. I checked the account online and it had one note that said I had cancelled and one that said I hadn’t cancelled and one that said I was on the schedule for next week. ???

At the midkid’s doctor’s appointment, we got the paperwork and all that, but also found out that with the new, updated system the hospital is getting, lots of things were going wrong – like the router in the office being set to GMT instead of CST for the time zone. Which was why the appointment for Greg had looked like it was set for 8:30pm. And why they kept having that problem with other patients.(see ***) CHAOS. Oh, and in the middle of the new nurse being unable to take my kids blood pressure because he seemed unsure of how to use a regular blood pressure cuff instead of the automatic one, my phone rang and it was the nurse at the ortho’s office calling back to reschedule. (See *****)

Then that night, because on band time it was Monday, not Tuesday, I had to leave my Spiritual Practices class early to pick up my band kids because it was, of course, also a high holy day for my husband’s church, so he was busy.

Wednesday morning, I sent the ADHD paperwork to the 504 lady, just as the internet teetered into nothing. Good times. Then I went to physical therapy and found out even more insanity making things that I will not recount here. In the end, as it turned out, there’s most likely no thoracic outlet syndrome because my shoulders are healed. YAY! But there’s ongoing things wrong with my neck. So I need to go back to that orthopedic doctor and have him do different scans and write a different set of orders for physical therapy so they can deal with the neck thing. I did get one knot worked out of my neck area, though, and have ordered the special tool they used to get it out because it’s over the counter and can be used by laypeople as easily as physical therapists (they showed me how and sent me a video in case I forget).

Also at PT, we discussed the ***** situation and I told them that while I had gotten the appointment changed, it wasn’t showing up as changed in my portal, but I would really like that Friday appointment, please and thank you. Since the appointment lady was scheduling in the new system and so was the ortho’s office, there was no longer a conflict, and I got my Friday appointment for PT. I asked about how to access the new portal because if my appointments were in there now, I wanted to be able to access them. The new system is vastly easier on the patients end of things. But the PT appointment lady had no idea how we were supposed to do that or when it would become available or that the old portal was being taken down so quickly.

I got home and made a discovery that meant I had to cancel my Breast MRI the next day. If you know, you know. If you don’t, well, I’m not telling. After that, I was going to write, but I got embroiled in some other organizations insanity and ended up doing something else until it was time to pick up kids, but I hadn’t made it to the donation center and there was no room for everyone and all the stuff. I missed my van for the second time this month. So I guess that’s not too bad.

On the way home, we had the much discussed “how to make our home a better place for all who live there” conversation again and we all agreed that the china cabinet must go. So I spent my evening emptying that and finding new homes for everything. That was all my own chaos, but it was easy to solve chaos and I liked it.

Today we reached peak chaos. First thing this morning, I got an email from the 504 coordinator that my message had come through without a file attached. My Wi-Fi had gone flakey yesterday at one point and that was probably when I sent that message. So I re-sent it and she sent some other stuff back that I needed to fill out and send back. I had time to do that, finish some PTA stuff, and write and all that.

Then the texts began. My midkid had a substitute for the permanent substitute and she had him on the “No FLEX Day access” list. He has all A’s. He should not have had to go to tutorials. He goes anyways because he didn’t have the nifty bracelet that let him into FLEX Day fun. There’s a different sub there now. She won’t look at the grades portal and won’t let him go to FLEX. So he texts me to see if I can do something. I call the school a few times and once got put on speaker phone by accident and listened to the chaos up there myself for a while. They couldn’t hear me saying hello, so I eventually called back. Meanwhile, I emailed the counselor to see if we’d missed something on the progress report thing. It had been confusing because they didn’t send out paper progress reports and the links they sent just lead to the generic parent portal. While I was digging though the parent portal, I noticed my midkids appointments on Tuesday (** and ***) had been mislogged, so I called and left a message for attendance about getting that fixed. I got an actual human on the line and she told me that everyone was in their FLEX positions and there was no one to answer my questions, but try again tomorrow. I pointed out that FLEX was my question and tomorrow would be too late, so she transferred me to someone else. I left a voicemail, but got called back immediately. I explained the kids All A’s status and she looked him up and saw that he was in a class that had had a lot of upheaval and in fact had a brand new substitute teacher who’d never taught before. She said she’d get my kid a note to let him out for FLEX and not to worry any more, mama.

But that, of course, wasn’t the end of that. Kid texted me that the sub had gotten a phone call and told him that his mom was there to pick him up and he should get all his stuff together and go to the front office. So he did. The counselors were there, teased him about his hair and his three ginormous instruments, and sent him outside to wait for me. After about 15 minutes he called me and asked where I was. “At home because you’re at FLEX?” “No, mom, I’m waiting outside the school. The sub said you were coming to pick me up.” Well, by the time I got there, it was 10 minutes til the bell would ring, my kid was incandescent with rage, and I was angry enough to not want to talk to anyone, either, so we left and got him a drink and then came back for his brother.

His brother had a decent time at FLEX, but was unable to buy coffee because the coffee place didn’t bring enough change. He was unbothered. I love him. He is just like his daddy sometimes. You know what else didn’t end up chaotic? Panda Express for the band fundraiser. Everyone got the right food. It was nice.

So, any bets on tomorrow’s chaos? I am going to bet that my PT didn’t get scheduled or that my ortho appointment didn’t get moved or that I totally forget about my kids 504 meeting. Or that the meals I ordered on Tuesday for the pre-football game band kids go astray somehow. Or something else to do with it being middle school band sit-along night at the football game. Who knows. I am so tired.

First Church Service Back in Person

So my dad did not go home yesterday and decided to stay and go to church with me and the kids today, which was awkward because a) it was our first service back in person, b) the sanctuary is so small that with social distancing and our regulars there was no room for visitors, c) we tried to do a hybrid service for people that wanted to stay online and it failed, d) there was a lot of joyful crying because EVERYONE CAME BACK and we were really concerned they wouldn’t, e) I had to stop and fill out visitor forms on the way in for my dad because he couldn’t figure out what they were asking him to do, f) I needed to officially join the church before I could become a trustee (something they discovered after they asked me to become a trustee), and my peeps could not figure out how to people while I was away, g) and also I officially have An Abundance of Catherine’s (however they happen to spell it, which varies so much), h) back to the weirdness, Ree decided to walk home, Greg went to hide in the car, and the retired pastor who sometimes leads us asked where my kids went and when I shrugged she just laughed and said “oh yeah, you have an older child, too, so you’ve reached the resigned stage of parenthood” and my dad laughed so hard I thought he might die, so we left right after that, i) that was awkward because I hadn’t said goodbye to everyone yet, but a certain older gentleman really wanted a hug, so I hugged him and my dad was all “Is that old man bothering you?!” and I laughed hysterically because I’ve probably talked to that gentleman more than I’ve talked to my dad this year and they would have really liked each other because they are the same age and both like stamps. j) after all that I hyper focused on cleaning the house and 1/4 of the garage is spectacularly clean now and the laundry is done, and the kitchen was spotless, but then Nick used ALL THE THINGS cooking dinner and now it’s a wreck again.

Low Energy Chore list


Things you can do when you don’t have a lot of energy, but do have some time you need to get work done during:

Organize digital stuff.
Tag old photos, or make albums.
Organize your printed recipes.

Write draft replies for unanswered emails.
Create to-do lists per life/work/cleaning category.
Do short-medium-long term planning.
Work on time-consuming important, yet not urgent projects.

Make an inspiration board for the future – shopping lists, lists of movies to watch, books to read, places to visit.
Make a list of friends + plan when to call/interact with each one.
Crochet or cross stitch something small, yet meaningful.

Inventory stuff you have at home and/or plan on how to reorganize it.
Update your resume or explore jobs.
Do inventory of your health issues and make notes for future appointments.

My Daily Schedule as a Writer with Chronic Illnesses


I have a lot of chronic pain related illnesses, as well as a disconnect between my brain and my heart. I work from home, with a husband that works elsewhere and 2 kids and 2 cats in and out. It was hard to find friends in this city at first, but I eventually found some. I still don’t see the friends that often because we all work and have young teenagers that we are still driving around.


A typical work week day looks like this:
5:30-7:30 am get up, dressed, stretch/yoga, and make breakfast for self and kids
7:30-8 drop off kids
8am back from dropping kids at school, study a bit for lessons I teach other days
8:30-10:00 work
10-10:30 break for accountability time with another work from home friend
10:30-12 more work
12-1 husband comes home for lunch and we eat leftovers together
1-2:30more work/teaching
2:30-4 workout at gym, shower, change clothes
4-4:30 pick up kids
4:30-5 collapse in a heap or run errands
5-6 prep for evening meetings
6-8 some nights meetings, some nights house cleaning, dinner usually at 7pm regardless (husband cooks)
8-10 TV or movie or reading
10p-6a sleep, hopefully

Weekends:
6am get up, stretch/yoga, drink tea, read silly things to spouse off the internet
8am start breakfast
9am wake kids, eat breakfast
10am clean kitchen, get showered & dressed
11am church (Sundays) or reading/crafting time (Saturday)
Noon light lunch(usually leftovers)
1-3 board games or other fun with kids or shopping
3-5 writing or laundry
5-7 hang out in kitchen with spouse while he cooks (I usually help)
7 dinner
8-10 TV or movie or reading
10p-6a sleep, hopefully

Once a week activities:
Lunch with friend*
Coffeehouse Work time with co-worker*
Writer’s Guild
Author’s Greenhouse
Critique Group
Spiritual Discussions class
Church
Fun afternoon with kids*
Once a month activities
Girls Night Out*
Date Night*
Board Game afternoon with friends*
Visit Dad/Be visited by Dad
Dinner with in-laws *

*not since Covid-19

Our 24th Dating Anniversary

It’s the anniversary of our first date, so I’ve been reminiscing with the kids about why I fell in love with their father.

Not a great photo, but one of us tonight

“I fell in love with your dad the day he stood up for my right to choose who I wanted to be with and what I wanted to do, even if it meant I wasn’t choosing him or what he wanted. And we’ve stayed together, despite our many, many differences because he continues to let me choose, even when it sometimes means not choosing him and his pathway sometimes.”

Because I cannot resist a good pun