Five things make a post (or My Day as a List)
1. Jello Soup. On the floor. On the walls. On my feet. In my hair. In the laundry basket.
2. “You’re only inviting me over because you’re an Otter and I’m staying at home because I’m a Golden Retriever (and I love the rain.)”
3. Only my own child can kick one of my children.
4. ”Let’s just exterminate the dirty dishes!”
5. I typed this in its entirety with a child climbing in my hair, one of his fingers shoved into my eyeball, one leg on one side of my chest, the other on my back. (and then, as if that were not enough, he leapt into the upholstered chair next to me, which had two other children in it, and knocked the whole thing over–it’s now on top of David and Greg’s back in it. ”gregory put his foot on my penis! Penis! penis! Order in the court!”)